Oilers: 3 Wings:2

I've still been feeling pretty down lately. I feel disillusioned on friendships. The one friend is still upset with me over his joke gone bad. This is a friend that I've known for many many years. One that helped me through a lot of rough times. He is one I thought I could count on no matter what. I guess I could count on him only so long as it suited him.

The other friend.... well like I said in my comments. I thought she was one that I could trust no matter what. One that wouldn't betray me in any way. She constantly told me how much she cares about me and how much I meant to her. She always told me that I was her rock and that she would never do anything to hurt me. Teaches me to not believe people at their word I guess.

My Dad was doing really well. He never heard from the doctor so we figured it was all good. However earlier this week the problem came back. So his health is still up in the air and that worries me. It's a worry that eats at me. The worst is that there is nothing I can do. If the tests came back that the CAT scan didn't find anything then I don't know what the doctors can do. Tests coming back ok is in some ways good news since the scan would show most serious problems so whatever is wrong then should (hopefully) be nothing serious so that's good. It's just not knowing and yet him still getting very sick is really worrying me.

I think tonight is a good night to go to a comedy show. A friend and I are going to Yuk Yuks to see some comedians and hopefully have some good laughs. I really need it.

Oilers: 2 Wings: 4

Everyone knows the unwritten rule that you don't go after a guy that a friend likes right? At what point is it ok to not follow that rule? If girl likes boy but for whatever reason boy isn't going to date girl is it then ok to go after friends boy? Or is that boy hands off until friend is over liking him and has moved on? Does girl have a right to be upset at friend for going after a guy she likes? When he doesn't want her? What if it's not the first time friend went after guy that girl likes?

Edit: I just got the oppurtunity to tell the boss that if he is going to eat apples he has to eat them in his office. I also told him why. Maybe he will be safe from my wrath now. We'll see what happens the next time he has an apple.

I copied Joefish and joined Blogexplosion. I have decided to rent out my blog and the first renter (Scooter) is up on the right. Please check his site out. Also I get points for refering so if you want to join blogexplosion please click the explode your traffic link.

Go Oilers Go!!!

Oilers:4 Wings: 3

How to Charm me:

I go get coffee every morning. Usually I get everyones order but this morning it was just my coffee to worry about. The drive thru I go to is always busy so some morning it can take a long time which I definitely don't mind since the longer I'm in line is the longer I'm away from work. When I got up to the window to pay I was told I don't owe anything. It was paid for not by the guy in the vehicle ahead of me but the one in the truck in front of him. He didn't give a reason. All I have to say is thank you! I love free coffee! That isn't the first time this month I've gotten free coffee either. Not mentioning the countless cups friends have bought me (thanks guys) but I also had two other strangers by my coffee. One actually paid for not only my coffee but also my bagel. They had reasons though. I let one of them in the line and the other almost backed into me. It was a very nice and very needed way to start my morning.

Talk about stressed out. I've been really down the last little while. There are a lot of things going on that have just made we want to say fuck it to the world. Most of them aren't really huge issues but because there have been so many issues together I'm just very frustrated.

First of all my Dad has been sick and I've been extremely worried. Luckily it looks like they are going to be ok. The problems that were happening seem to have been fixed. Its been a little while since he was feeling shitty. We're still waiting on some test results but things are looking up. We're sort of going on the no news is good news idea. Plus he is calling the doc tomorrow to find out if he needs to go in or if everything looks fine.

There is a friend of mine that is mad at me. We've been really good friends for a long time and even though he is mad for a stupid reason I'm pretty upset about it. He tried to play a joke on another of our friends. The thing the joke involved someone that didn't know us. The joke from her point of view could have looked like the joke was on her. So I didn't let that happen. He was pissed that I 'ruined' the joke. He left right after and didn't get my explanation on why I ruined it. Even without my explanation he shouldn't have been mad though. I guess he just couldn't handle a joke being turned around onto him. The way I look at it is if you can't handle the joke you play on someone else being turned back onto you then you shouldn't be playing that joke in the first place. He hasn't spoken to me since and it's been 2 weeks and that bothers me more than I like to admit.

I have a group of friends that I see often. I looked at them as my friends but I'm no so sure they look at me as a friend. I'm beginning to feel like the person that is always there but not really invited. I've worked that out... to myself anyway.. I'm just going to be there when the one friend that I KNOW wants me there needs to be there. If he isn't going to be there then unless I get an invite for me specifically I'm not showing up. The way it's been working is they talk about the plans they have made and then (seems like an afterthought) they turn and ask if I'm going to be there. I could be being overly sensitive because if could be a case of each assuming one the others had invited me.

One of the reasons I don't feel like a part of the group is because of one of the girls in the group. She is very much all about attention. She is constantly doing/saying things that put her in the spotlight. She'll also do what she can to get the attention away from me when anyone is paying me more attention. The thing is she is a fun person. Very outgoing, upbeat, energetic. It's really easy for her to get peoples attention. I think she feels there is some kind of competition between the two of us. Yet I don't want and haven't tried to compete with her. The thing is I always have more fun when she isn't around. When she IS around I feel invisible.

The last week I've been avoiding being around her too much and definitely feel a lot better and have had more fun than I have in a while. It's amazing how much my being down had to do with her.

Another stress has been money. I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck. I am barely scraping by. It's my own fault. I haven't quit smoking and I am out almost every night which tends to cost money. I just really want/need a vacation and I can't afford it. It's been almost a year since I took any significant time off and since I got away from here to visit friends and I'm really wishing I could afford to do that. I need a break.

There are other little things that have been bothering me but here is the bulk of it. I was debating posting it. Again the reason for that is because my blog is not annonymous to people that know me but.... fuck it.

GO OILERS GO

If someone is driving you nuts and you kill them could it be considered self defense?? Cuz you know... they drive you to it???

I ask this because if I have to fucking hear my boss eat another fucking apple I might just be driven to testing that defense!

I haven't felt much like blogging lately. In fact I haven't felt like talking much either. Sorry to anyone that I normally talk to and haven't lately.

I have been feeling lately like I'm drowning and I'm not really sure how/when I'm going to be feel better. I don't have much to say lately and I'm sure that is due to how I've been feeling. Hopefully I'll get everything together and be back to the regular me soon.

Well I did audioblog Kals 20 questions but for some reason it hasn't posted. I give up on answering the questions..

I am very happy to have the day off today. It was so nice to be able to sleep in. It's such a beautiful day today too. Summer is around the corner. I am very excited about that. I think I'm going to head out to go for a walk and soak up the nice weather.

I was answering the 20 questions Kal had on his site but then the power went out. I tried to recover post but that didn't work. So instead when I get the chance I'm thinking I'll audioblog the answers. So keep and eye/ear out for that.

I love having the weekend off. I went out last night and didn't get home until 5:30am. I decided today to sleep until I felt like getting up. I slept until 4:30pm. Normally I don't like sleeping in that late on a day off because it's usually my only day off and a total waste of the day. Since I have tomorrow off too I didn't mind wasting most of my day.

Last night was a good time. Went to Name that Tune and had a good time there. It was Sticky, me and a friend of his from work. I'll call her Fun girl. After that we decided to go dancing at Suite 69. We got there around 1am and danced until it closed. As we were leaving I saw a really cute guy and Sticky tried to hook us up. He totally did the buddy thing. The guy looked like he was going to come talk to me but I turned. I am not interested in meeting a guy at a bar for a one night thing. So I chickened out. I assumed that is what he would expect. What I should have done though was tell him that I wasn't interested in a one night stand but if he wanted to go out sometime I'd give him my number. Too bad I was too chicken to do that.

From the bar some of the people we were with (we met up with some of Fun girls friends) wanted to get off-sales beer so we walked whyte ave to get the beer. We were standing outside the place when Fun girl goes 'awwww look a snake'. I turned and Sticky (too late) tried to stop me. Soon as I saw it I ran. I ran for about three blocks. It was a tiny snake but that didn't matter. I was totally freaked. Once we were away from it I was ok again.

We walked to Fun girls friends apartment and hung out there for a bit chatting and listening to music. Around 4am we left and went to Denny's (a restaurant open 24hrs) to eat. When we were done there we finally went home.

Tonight I will be going to Name that Tune. We'll start the night at the new place and then head over to the usual place.

TGIF!! This has been a pretty long week for me. I've had headaches and been tired for most of it. I've also been in the weirdest moods. Very hyper and then the next minute kind of down. I have no idea why. Hopefully I'll get some relaxation this weekend since I am off both Saturday and Sunday. I don't really have anything else to say so I'll just post another one of those personality quiz thingies.

The Picto-Personality Test You are a person who is very calm and kind. You go out of your way to help people who need your help. When alone, you appreciate being able to do nothing if you want to, and setting your own pace for things. You are romantic, and when you are with your partner you like to woo them with your imagination. In the future you will be happy and live richly.

Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com

I had a very good weekend. As usual I didn't get enough sleep but to quote Sticky 'I'll sleep when I'm dead.'

Saturday was my nieces birthday so I went over to celebrate. She was spoiled... as always. She got a karaoke machine and a barbie phone. She is FOUR and already has her own phone! My Dad and I went in together and bought her a castle slide for outside.

I headed to the usual place after that. It was Cs birthday. He turned 35. It was a great time. He was very very drunk. He rarely gets drunk.... I know it has been many many years since he was that drunk. I'm sure it will be many more years before he does that again. After I bought him a few shots and a pitcher of beer D showed up and bought him some shots. I had told him I'd be the designated driver if he wanted so just before doing the shots he handed me his keys. When I drove him home I helped him to his door and then had to unlock it for him. I was going to help him up his stairs but he said not to worry about it.

Since we were at name that tune they had to do a happy birthday thing to him. They got him to stand with his arm outstretched and had the girls hang their bras on him. He then had to dance around the bar like that. It was hilarious. C is usually the type that just sits quietly at the table so it was fun to see him dancing around the bar.

It was a great night complete with dancing on the bar.