Monday, November 28, 2005

Not much time to update so I'll just mention a couple things.

~ My computer is being upgraded (thank you Divine Shadow) so I won't be updating in the evening for a little while (not that I did that often).
~ I cut my hours WAY down at my second job. I'm so happy. I'll actually get a couple weekends a month off!
~ Said to me on Saturday:
S: Stop doing that!
Me: Doing what?
S: Being the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.
~ A guy I have a date with tonight bought me coffee at work on Friday AND brought me coffee on Sunday
~ Full time job is good. Busy.
~ I still hate Mondays.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Last night in an effort to cheer us up (to get over the drama thats been going on) Dayna and I decided to go for a drive. We ended up seeing if we could find the road to Independence again. We got ourselves some coffee, snacks and gased up the car. I pretty much knew which road it was on but didn't know how far along the road it was so we kept our eyes peeled.

Road to Independence

45 (or so) minutes later we found it.


We were very excited.

Dayna Independence

Climbing Independence

Hanging on Independence

So we followed the arrow to Independence but we found nothing at the end. (Actually we found an abandoned church but the pics of that didn't turn out so well so....)

Me at the end of the road

After we played around with the picture taking we continued to drive on. I threw in a CD that I hadn't listened to in a while (and didn't remember what was on it). Turns out it was a bunch of sappy songs. We enjoyed singing along to the old sappy songs and by the time we got back to her place we were still enjoying it enough that we sat in the car singing some more. B came out to join us for a few sappy songs. (and of course that included Open Arms by Journey which cracked us up and this time I didn't hurt anyone when I flung my arms open) Then we all went inside to listen and sing to some of the cheese that B has on his computer. It was a great night.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this or not but I have a brother that was given up for adoption when he was a baby. My 'mom' told me about him when I was really young. I remember after hearing about it looking at boys a few years older than me and wondering if that could be him.

My 'mom' always knew she wanted to find him but she had to wait until he was 18 and she had to be in my city (since that's where the adoption took place) in order to fill out the paperwork and start the ball rolling.

When I was 17 (he was 22 I think) she finally made it here. She went and filled out all the info and the search started. A few months later she called me and told me he had been found. That he has all the information on us and would probably get in touch with us. We weren't sure if he was going to call or who he would call first... his brother and sister or his biological mom.

One night I was on the phone talking to a friend and I was actually telling her about my brother when the other line beeped. I clicked and the person asked to speak to Dani or M. I knew instantly that it was him I asked him to please hold on and went to the other line. I don't know if I made much sense to my friend since I was so excited and trying to tell her that it was him on the phone. I was kind of scared too. I mean I didn't know him. I didn't know what kind of person he was. If he'd even like me. So many things went through my mind.

I went back to the other line. Told him I was Dani. He said well, I am B your brother. I said well I knew that. He was like uhh.... I said no one ever asks for both me or my brother so I was able to figure out who it was. We talked for a while. He lives in Calgary so in order to see us he had to drive up. We made plans to meet that weekend.

I was really excited but also very nervous. I had to work the friday that he was coming but I was going to be able to spend a couple hours with him. My brother M and I talked about it and agreed that we should have a friend with us in case he was weird or something. Plus we knew we would feel more comfortable with friends there.

When the door bell rang I opened the door and we just stared at aach other. Immediately I knew he was definitely my brother. He looks so much like me and my two other brothers and my 'mom' that there was no mistake. After probably only a minute (but it seemed longer) I invited him in. We sat talking and doing a lot of staring at eachother. Comparing our features and just letting the fact that we were all face to face sink in.

I was pretty upset to be working that evening since he was going to be gone before I got done. The whole night I was so hyper. I couldn't stop talking about him and meeting him. I kept telling my co-workers that I knew... just knew he'd be picking me up from work even though he said he'd be heading home.

Sure enough I got off work and there he was. So we went to A&W and talked. For a couple hours. We talked about so many different things. How even though we were both happy with our lives we still wished we had grown up together. It was such a surreal thing that I don't even have the words to describe how amazing it was to meet him.

When he dropped me off at home he turned to me and said 'this might sound weird since we just met but.... I love you' I told him it didn't sound weird since I feel the same. We had just met yet I could feel the bond the moment we saw eachother.

I unfortunately don't see him very often but he has two kids. A boy and a girl. When my niece was a baby she looked so much like I did that it was almost like looking at another me. I wish he lived closer (not that three hours away is all that far) since we never seem to have the time to visit eachother. I miss him.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


Monday, November 14, 2005

So... I found a lump. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow but I'm kind of freaking out. I'm sure it's nothing. Probably like an ingrown hair or something but I still can't help but worry. I know there is no point in worrying since it does absolutely no good and changes nothing but I can't seem to get my mind off of it. I was hoping that blogging about it would help get it out and off my mind. I don't think it would be cancer since it isn't in a typical spot where cancer would be. I hate freaking about things... but tonight I just can't stop.

I've been so drama queen lately with all the shit going on and I have to say I'm getting awfully sick of it. So let's hope they tell me it's nothing and I can laugh about how worried I was. Then maybe I can get back to me being without drama.

Edit: I'm relieved to say the lump is enflamed lymph nodes. I have to go back in December for a follow up appointment in case it isn't gone. For now though I am definitely not as worried.
Another long weekend gone. How can long weekends still feel so damn short? Had a great time at Keraoke Thursday night. Was exhausted though so I didn't go for breakfast. The exhausting week caught up with me. I slept in though and relaxed before work so I was re-energized.

Friday night I went to a friends place to watch a movie and hang out. Found out she got engaged so huge CONGRATS to her! Got home fairly early and slept in a little before working on Saturday.

After work I picked up Dayna and she came over to dye my hair. Its a darker shade of red this time. We got all dressed up for her birthday. Had a blast at Name that Tune. Got MANY compliments on how good I looked. I always love the compliments. It ended earlier than usual. We headed to D,B and Daynas place to eat and watch a movie. I was planning on staying there over night and having a Smallville season 3 Sunday.

I ended up going to another friends house... stayed there over night and slept in (oh how I love sleeping in). Hung out there for the day and headed back to D,B and Dayna's around 8pm for some Smallville. A great Sunday.

I am in a much happier mood than last week. I am so glad that things here at work got sorted out before the weekend.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

It has been another rough week but I think it's all sorted out now. We'll wait and see how it all works out but it looks a lot better than it did. There are still some issues I'm stressing about but at least I'm no longer crying. LOL

Thank goodness it's a short week so only one more day until the weekend. I do work at my second job on Friday but at least I can sleep in.

I went out to kareoke on Monday. They actually convinced me to sing. It was terrible but I had fun anyway. Kareoke again tomorrow but this time they won't be able to get me to sing. This place is too crowded and I know too many of the people. The place on Monday was a lot less crowded and I only knew a few people. lol

Monday, November 07, 2005

Another Monday. Its been a weird day. Not good... not bad. A very cool thing happened though. Dave Hunter an ex-Oiler (who won three cups with us) is a potential customer of ours. He came into my work today and I've now got an autographed picture of him holding the cup. :D

I was hoping to get some things sorted out today unfortunately it doesn't look like that is going to happen. Hopefully it will be worked out sooner rather than later.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

And then it gets worse. For reasons I again won't get into here. I just feel like screaming at the top of my lungs. I am frustrated and sad and angry. I feel like a bag of shit. Well I did a few hours ago. I wanted to just scream "HEY men with the straight jacket! I'm over here!!!!"

Thankfully I have some really great friends that were able to take my mind off things. They cheered me up a LOT.

My depressed food is McDonalds. I eat it all the time even when I'm not depressed but when I AM depressed I HAVE to have it. After we left the bar we went to McDonalds. Only the one near B and Daynas was closed. We drove to one closer to my house. Closed. So we drove to the one closest to my house. OPEN! We picked up the McDonalds and headed back to their place. After chowing down I let out a loud burp. (Thats right.. I'm not always a lady). Dayna followed it up with a burp of her own.

Which of course started us all burping. Dayna wins hands down no question. I only had a few burps but I think my first one still beat any that B had. By the time I was getting ready to leave we were all laughing so hard we had tears. At one point B fell down he was laughing so hard. Laughter is absolutely the best medicine. I feel a little better about things now.

Tomorrow I work and will (probably... but not for sure since I might meet up with someone) be at Name that Tune. I'm debating staying over at D, B and Daynas so that I can actually drink.

Edit: I have finally uploaded some of my pics from Halloween.

Friday, November 04, 2005

What a strange week. It hasn't exactly been a bad week but I wouldn't say it's been good either. I'm just glad it's Friday. I am tired of dating. I'm tired of getting excited about a relationship and then (for whatever reason) it going down the tubes in five minutes. How do things look so good and then BOOM its all gone to shit?!

This particular guy actually does like me. I like him. For reasons I won't go into it doesn't seem that it's going to be able to work. The thing is though we really suit eachother (so far). I am totally comfortable being myself around him. He feels totally comfortable around me. It's like we've known eachother for years not just a couple months. Now suddenly stuff has happened and it looks like its all going to be over.

On another note.. I went and saw a sneak preview for the movie Jarhead on Wednesday (thanks his divine shadow!!!). I enjoyed the movie... I especially enjoyed the shower scene. ;) I had a great time out for wings after the movie as well. I got home around midnight and went straight to bed.

My friend S drunk dialed me at around 2am. I slept through it but he did leave a voicemail. He told me he had just phoned Dayna and woke her up and since he was already an asshole once he figured he might as well be an asshole again and wake me up. But instead he was just babbling to the voicemail. It was a pretty funny message and nice to start my Thursday with a laugh.

I tried doing an audio blog earlier in the week but for some reason it didn't post. Not a big deal it was mostly just some rambling.

I've decided that what I'd like to do is go a little crazy. (correction: crazier than I already am) I figure if I start acting a little crazy(ier) the men with the straight jackets will come and pick me up and I can spend some time in a padded room. I could then take a break from life and get back to just being me. The happy me. The hyper me. Not the woe is me me. I really hate having drama. I hate whining about my drama. I just seem to have too much of it lately.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


Pictures are now uploaded.


The pics I uploaded are not from my camera. I will get around to uploading mine hopefully in a couple days.
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