Thursday, January 22, 2009

I know it has been forever since I’ve posted. I will be surprised if any of my readers still remember me. Life has just been insanely busy. I never really understand the difference having a child makes. I mean I knew it would make life busier, but I foolishly thought that after he went to bed or during his naps I’d have the time to do things like post on my blog. Who knew that instead of posting I’d be doing dishes or cleaning or be catching up on reading or tv and of course would be spending time with Mr. IT. Really would it be so hard to turn on the computer?

So much has changed in my life in the last year and a half. My little Monkey is amazing. Of course every Mother says that so I know he’s more amazing to me than to anyone else, but seriously the kid is unbelievably amazing. I can’t believe how much love I can and do have for him. I totally understand what people are talking about when they say there isn’t anything like the love you have for your child. My heart aches when I’m away from him. I’ve had to deal with going through every Monday – Friday with a dull ache all day long. If he isn’t awake before I leave for work in the morning (Mr.IT drives him to dayhome and I pick him up) I go through the day weighed down. I stay in a sad mood all day. When I get to see him before I leave I am in such a good mood. I am instantly happy.

The other thing I appreciate now is how time flies. I understood it before but now I really understand. I just want to freeze the days. I miss when he was tiny and would sleep on my chest. I miss rocking him to sleep. I absolutely love and treasure the things he is learning and doing right now though. He walks and runs and says a few words and he loves playing with balls and hockey sticks. He loves trying to shovel the driveway. He calls everyone Daddy including me. He practically vibrates with excitement when I go to pick him up. He also loves making me laugh. He has so much personality it blows me away.

We really lucked out with this kid too. He eats good, goes to bed good, loves to have baths, loves to go outside, loves music and is just a really happy and good kid. He’s very easy to take care of. Even when he’s sick he still tries to play and be happy.

I had a really hard time going back to work. I was trying not to let it get to me and it’s not until I look back that I realize how hard it hit me. Poor Mr. IT put up with a lot from me. It was hard to be away from my Monkey and it was weird coming back to work. Things were definitely different. First, I didn’t go back to the position I was in before. I went back to a lesser one. I still got paid the same amount. They claimed it was because they restructured and my position was gone. The problem with that is the girl that covered my mat leave had the position mine would have evolved into and no matter how they tried to deny it I knew it. I actually know it for sure now because I now have her position. In November she moved to a different position and so I got hers. It came as a promotion and I got a raise with it but I’m still a little bothered by the fact that I didn’t get it when I got back.

The other thing that changed here is that I don’t feel so involved as before. One reason is the girl that I was really good friends with before mat leave no longer speaks to me. I really don’t know why… I have heard a rumor that it was because I gave someone else kudos for an outfit she bought the Monkey. I thought we were good enough friends though that she would have told me that it bothered her. Plus it was before my Monkey was six months old and let me tell you I was a basket case during that time.

I don’t know for sure if that’s the reason since she won’t talk to me. She’s polite at work and I have no problem working with her but she doesn’t smile or talk to me at all. I did ask her about it. I asked her why she doesn’t talk to me, she told me that wasn’t a conversation to have at work. I agreed and asked if she wanted to get together to talk. She said she did… I told her that I knew she was busy and that I could free up time easier so to let me know when she wanted to get together to talk… she never did. It doesn’t really bother me that much anymore but it definitely affected my return to work. I’m very sure that one of the supervisors doesn’t like me because of the other girl. I definitely feel like an outcast of the department. Oh well, I don’t mind all that much since I just come here, do my work and go home to my Monkey.

Mr.IT and I also moved. We bought a house and moved at the beginning of August. I LOVE it. We finally put up the last of the curtains and it just looks amazing. We sold and bought at the perfect time. The condo sold at the higher price and we got our house for a lower price. It’s brand new and perfect for what we wanted. There is also a spare room for another baby sometime in the future.

Having another one is going to be put off for a little while though. The reason being… I’m soon to be Mrs. IT! We got engaged on December 15th. It was a perfect proposal and I’m extremely excited. Tentative dates for our wedding are New Years Eve or sometime this summer. We’re still figuring out affordability since a New Years wedding will be more expensive and less reception halls are available. We’re planning on waiting until after the wedding to have another one. I’d be happy to have the second before but he really wants us to do it right this time.

I’m thinking that’s enough writing for now. I hope I still have some readers left.

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