Monday, November 12, 2007

I've made one of the toughest decisions I ever had to make. I decided to pretty much stop breastfeeding. I had a lot of problems... first with cracked nipples then with the thrush. He's also been very gassy and it's worse after I feed him. He's still gassy with the formula so we're working out which formula is best but he's worse after I feed him. I'm still not sure I made the right decision. I can't stop kicking myself for not trying for longer... for giving up. It's just after 6 weeks there were still problems and feeding him is so much more pleasant from the bottle. I can't really describe the regret I feel about it. I know it's the right decision... I just still feel kind of like a failure. I know I shouldn't beat myself up for it... plenty of women can't/don't breastfeed and I don't think any less of them so why should I think less of myself....

On another note I finally uploaded a picture of one of the things I bought with the giftcard Stephie sent. It's the soother...

I start my "Mommy and Baby" group this Thursday. I'm really looking forward to it. Meeting other new Moms is going to be great. Hopefully I'll connect with some of them so I have people to get out of the house with during the day.


Blogger Callie said...

Remember what I told you? Remember???!!!!

Do not feel guilty in any way, shape, or form. I couldn't breast feed Kidlet. I tried and tried and tried. I cried. I screamed. And all the while, poor Kidlet just got skinnier and skinnier.

The bottle was the best thing for both of us. If you have another one, maybe it will be easier. Who knows? Just know that you did what was best for everyone concerned.

Oh, and I found the best formula for both my babies was Isomil. It's the soy formula. They both seemed to have less gas and less puke with it.

2:37 PM, November 13, 2007  
Blogger Danikabur said...

We're using Simulac, it's supposed to be the best milk based formula. It's the same brand as Isomil.

I'll definitely try breastfeeding again if we have another baby. Hopefully it will work out differently.

11:16 AM, November 14, 2007  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Oh darlin', no worries. I'm not even going to try breastfeeding. I have not one, teensy shred of desire to do it and I have no guilt over that.

My mom breast-fed me for three days, my other brother for only a week, and my youngest brother only got half a feeding on the breast before she asked the Nurses to bring her a bottle! And we're all perfectly fine.

You are no less a woman, and no less a great mother. Is the kid getting fed? Then there you go. You're doing your job!

I figure - why put yourself through that pain and angst? This is 2007, they can work miracles with baby formula I'm sure. :-)

Cute soother!!! Glad you could get some useful items with the gift card! Cyber-Auntie Stephie loves her Jelly-belly.

Since I call you "Jellybean", I'll call Baby J my "Jelly-belly". tee hee. :-D

6:47 PM, November 14, 2007  
Blogger Danikabur said...

Thanks Stephie :D I love the baby nickname!

9:57 AM, November 15, 2007  
Blogger Callie said...

I think I'll stick with Monkey for right now.


10:31 AM, November 15, 2007  
Blogger Motherdear said...

Dani, hon, congrats on your beautiful boy!

And don't worry about giving up nursing him. As I always told my crying moms who just couldn't do it when I worked in Maternity, "Breastfeeding is not particularly 'better mothering'. It's just 'different mothering'. You deserve to do what's best for you and for your son. What's the use of killing yourself trying to nurse when it just makes you both tense and tearful???

Be happy, love. You deserve nothing less, and neither does your son! You made the best decision for YOU and him, and that's the BEST mothering!!!

8:50 PM, November 16, 2007  
Blogger Danikabur said...

Thank you for the congrats and the support. I do agree it was the best decision... I just can't help but regret that it was the best decision (if that makes sense).

10:17 AM, November 19, 2007  
Blogger Stephanie G said...

How's "Mommy and Baby" class going?

Is my Jelly-belly being a good little bean?

6:08 PM, November 24, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my sister pumps then mixes the breast milk with formula... it works for babyZ. is that an option for you Dani?

i agree with everyone... don't beat yourself up for it, you're a good mom! there are other ways to love your baby than to be bound by how you feed him.


8:14 PM, November 27, 2007  
Blogger duff said...

i was a bottle baby. i'm guessing mama wasn't too thrilled with the "cracked nipple" concept, either. just reading it makes me cringe.

i'm waaaaay too young for all that grown up stuff.

5:41 PM, February 10, 2008  

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