Thursday, November 17, 2005

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this or not but I have a brother that was given up for adoption when he was a baby. My 'mom' told me about him when I was really young. I remember after hearing about it looking at boys a few years older than me and wondering if that could be him.

My 'mom' always knew she wanted to find him but she had to wait until he was 18 and she had to be in my city (since that's where the adoption took place) in order to fill out the paperwork and start the ball rolling.

When I was 17 (he was 22 I think) she finally made it here. She went and filled out all the info and the search started. A few months later she called me and told me he had been found. That he has all the information on us and would probably get in touch with us. We weren't sure if he was going to call or who he would call first... his brother and sister or his biological mom.

One night I was on the phone talking to a friend and I was actually telling her about my brother when the other line beeped. I clicked and the person asked to speak to Dani or M. I knew instantly that it was him I asked him to please hold on and went to the other line. I don't know if I made much sense to my friend since I was so excited and trying to tell her that it was him on the phone. I was kind of scared too. I mean I didn't know him. I didn't know what kind of person he was. If he'd even like me. So many things went through my mind.

I went back to the other line. Told him I was Dani. He said well, I am B your brother. I said well I knew that. He was like uhh.... I said no one ever asks for both me or my brother so I was able to figure out who it was. We talked for a while. He lives in Calgary so in order to see us he had to drive up. We made plans to meet that weekend.

I was really excited but also very nervous. I had to work the friday that he was coming but I was going to be able to spend a couple hours with him. My brother M and I talked about it and agreed that we should have a friend with us in case he was weird or something. Plus we knew we would feel more comfortable with friends there.

When the door bell rang I opened the door and we just stared at aach other. Immediately I knew he was definitely my brother. He looks so much like me and my two other brothers and my 'mom' that there was no mistake. After probably only a minute (but it seemed longer) I invited him in. We sat talking and doing a lot of staring at eachother. Comparing our features and just letting the fact that we were all face to face sink in.

I was pretty upset to be working that evening since he was going to be gone before I got done. The whole night I was so hyper. I couldn't stop talking about him and meeting him. I kept telling my co-workers that I knew... just knew he'd be picking me up from work even though he said he'd be heading home.

Sure enough I got off work and there he was. So we went to A&W and talked. For a couple hours. We talked about so many different things. How even though we were both happy with our lives we still wished we had grown up together. It was such a surreal thing that I don't even have the words to describe how amazing it was to meet him.

When he dropped me off at home he turned to me and said 'this might sound weird since we just met but.... I love you' I told him it didn't sound weird since I feel the same. We had just met yet I could feel the bond the moment we saw eachother.

I unfortunately don't see him very often but he has two kids. A boy and a girl. When my niece was a baby she looked so much like I did that it was almost like looking at another me. I wish he lived closer (not that three hours away is all that far) since we never seem to have the time to visit eachother. I miss him.


Blogger lowk said...

That wonderful Dani. Being able to find your brother and then have everything turn out some great. God does watch over you. I understand about the long distance. My family is in L.A. and I only see the once in a great while. But I make time for those I love. It's more than worth it. It's nice to know there are more nice people like you out there.

12:57 PM, November 17, 2005  
Blogger Danikabur said...

My brother is pretty fricken awesome. I definitely need to see him more often.

Oh and he just finished recording his CD (country singer) and is going to send me a copy! I can't wait!

1:10 PM, November 17, 2005  
Blogger Tydes Perdition said...

that is so awesome for you! i can't imagine the excitement you must have felt at meeting him... someone you've only wondered about for so long. that's great.

7:34 PM, November 17, 2005  
Blogger Danikabur said...

It was amazing. :) I honestly can't even describe it.

9:05 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Callie said...

Well, Dani - you did an awesome job of describing it here. Can't wait to hear the CD!!!

10:05 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Aaron the Truck Driver said...

i sometimes think its better to NOT contact parrents or whoever if you were put up for adoption.

I found my mom and brother 6 years ago.

it was odd, uncomfortable. And not what i expected.

I think it works out the best if they are filthy rich and give you a car or something for the hell of it when you knock on the door.

I was sort of hoping for that senario.

I havnt herd from them in about 4 years. Which is no big deal.

Did he like his new family?
When did they tell him?

11:10 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Danikabur said...

Thanks Callie!!

My story of meeting is definitely one of the better ones. I know that meeting the biological family doesn't always turn out well. I think it's a very tough decision to make. To meet or not to meet. I'm just glad my brother choose to meet us.

Although I know he doesn't really speak to our 'mom' but then.... neither do I. lol

His adoptive family are great people. I can't say enough good things about them. He is thankful that our 'mom' gave him up and that he was adopted by that family.

1:32 PM, November 19, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's so amazing... thanks for sharing that with us dani. :)


11:07 AM, November 20, 2005  
Blogger Danikabur said...

Thanks Trix. :)

11:16 PM, November 20, 2005  
Blogger Motherdear said...

I know your mom must have had her reasons...I really do. And he was blessed by the family who adopted him.

But there's always a part of me that can't fathom the bravery a mother experiences who puts her child up for adoption. I could never do it. I'm just too weak. My boys are my life and if they weren't with me, then the worry over them, not knowing where they were, if they were happy, well-treated, loved, would have killed me.

I'm so happy you got in touch with him. His finding you is one of God's little gifts to all of you.

Sweet story, hon. I'm smiling and crying at the same time.

3:50 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Danikabur said...

Yeah she had her reasons and I think it was one of the best decisions she has made in her life. I know it was hard on her.. she'd think about him a lot. But she always knew it was the right decision and meeting him confirmed that. Hearing that he had a good life and has a lot of love from his adoptive family made her feel a lot better.

11:49 PM, November 21, 2005  

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