Friday, January 20, 2006

There are so many thoughts bumping around in my head. So many things I want to get out. Things I want to write out to work through. Something is stopping me though. I think a part of it is that I have readers. I don't want to disappoint. I guess maybe there is an image I'm trying to have. Like I don't feel I should blog about the depressed thoughts I'm having because I don't want to whine. I don't want people to feel bad for me. I love having people read my blog. I love all the comments I get. I think it's giving me writers block though.

Not that anyone should go away. Just that I need to work on not worrying so much about how I'm percieved. Also it seems to always be the same old crap. I'm sick of thinking about it..

I'm having a problem letting go of Dillon. I still want him. I'm pretty sure he still likes me (based on things said by others as well as by him). I don't know what to do about it. I promised a friend I wouldn't talk to Dillon about getting back together until the end of January. Give myself some time to get over him. Don't rush into getting back with him until I know if that is what I really want. I don't think I realized how much I like him until now that I am not with him.

I just don't know what to do. It's very frustrating. I'm trying to get back to being the happy person I was a few months ago. I'm just not sure how to do that. I go out and have fun. I'm happy when I'm out. It's when I'm on my way home or at home when I get down again.

I need to stop filtering what I write. I'm sorry if I lose readers and I will be sad to see commenters go but I have to stop being so concerned with it.


Blogger Callie said...

Dani -

Never concern yourself with what other people think. We like you because you're YOU - not because you're how you think we want you to be.

If you like Dillon, and it doesn't go away, then waiting another week and a half won't change that. Give yourself the time, and don't obsess over it. If it's meant to be, it will.

He sounds like a nice guy, but just really not ready for a meaningful relationship - which is what you need.

4:36 PM, January 20, 2006  
Blogger Danikabur said...

I'm trying not to obsess over it. Really really trying.

4:41 PM, January 20, 2006  
Blogger sleeplessly_single said...

I know how u feel. I started writing in my blog to express things I felt I couldnt say outloud but then sometimes you still feel like scared of the opinions or how u look to others on the computer. But I looked past it and still try to write what I'm feeling. Its never a dumb or stupid thing when it comes to your feelings. How u feel is how u feel and really theres no opinion that someone can give u on that. so say what u what bc this is your place that we visit and were here to see it.

5:41 PM, January 20, 2006  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Just be yourself baby, thats all anyong wants.

6:36 PM, January 21, 2006  
Anonymous lawbrat said...

Just be you. This is YOUR place, and do what you will with it.

Things happen for a reason. 6 months ago, I NEVER would have thought Phil would be anywhere in my life, much less the love of my life. It takes work, and its worth it.

You are worthy to have what you want and need out of a relationship. Whether its with Dillon, or someone you havent even met yet. Dont settle, go for what you want.
Callie is right, if its meant to be, another week and a half wont change that.

Hugs to you!!

11:10 PM, January 21, 2006  
Blogger Chris Nystrom said...

As long as you post pictures of yourself with ice sculptuers, I am pretty sure you can write about whatever you want to and not lose your readers.

7:19 AM, January 22, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

filters are for coffee... not your feelings or blogs.

trix. :P

10:46 AM, January 22, 2006  
Blogger lowk said...

I read your blog dani because I like hearing about how you are doing. Good or bad. I'm a friend, not a subscriber. As for Dillon, thats a tough call. Just be sure to follow your heart.

6:37 PM, January 22, 2006  

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