Growing up there were people that influenced the way I am now. I'm sure there are ones that influenced in little ways and I no longer remember them but there are also ones that stick out in my mind. Not all of them were good but despite them being not so good they helped shape who I am and for that I am thankfull. I've decided to write about some of them.

In grade 5 I had a teacher that I wasn't particularly fond of. She was all right but nothing special. Except that she taught us this lesson that I've never forgotten. She taught us the unfairness of discrimination. One day she had us move all the desks to the wall and had us sit on the floor. She then said today all the light eyed people are to be treated with favor. They will get pillows to sit on and the dark eyed people won't. The dark eyed people have to do what the light eyed people want. So she had the dark eyed kids bring the light eyed ones pillows to sit on... it went like that for the rest of the day. A week later she did the opposite. I don't know if the message got to the other kids but it sure got to me. How unfair it was that just because I had light eyes I was to be treated better and then the next time how I was to be treated like dirt.

All through elementary I was not popular. I was made fun of every day. People would purposely make me cry. I could never understand why. I thought I must not have been 'cool' or that there was something wrong with me. I didn't realize until later that my sister played a huge part in my unpopularity. I didn't know that she would spread rumors or tell things about me that the other kids would make fun of me about. All I knew at the time is I wasn't really liked. Growing up like that was horrible. I hated school and still do because of it. The thing I am thankful for and the lesson I got out of that was to treat others better (I didn't learn that lesson right away: see next paragraph). To not make fun of them. To not hurt peoples feelings. So even though it was hell to go through I know I am a better person because of it.

I knew a girl in high school that gave me the best advice. I still remember it. I barely remember her and we never were really friends but I will never forget her advice. She told me that you are who you want to be. That you are the one who controls how you react to others. I'm not really sure how to put into words the lesson she gave other than to say that at the time I wasn't the nicest person. I wasn't bad or evil or anything but I wanted popularity. I thought that to get it all I had to do was pick on someone else. I also thought that lying about things I did or didn't do would make me cooler. She pointed out how unfair it was to the person I made fun of and that lying will only get me to lose friends. I said I couldn't help how/who I was. She made it clear that I could. That I am choosing to be a certain way but that at any time I could decide not to be that way. Its not a simple thing.. changing who you are but if you really want to you definitely can change. I have her to thank. Without that lesson I'm not sure where I'd be today.

I learned a long time ago that the person I want to be is someone that does the best they can. For others and for myself. I learned that I want to be reliable and someone that no one would be afraid to confide in and someone that would be there no matter what. I've had my back stabbed more times than I can count. I've helped people that then turned their backs on me because their friends didn't think I was cool enough. Stuff like that will still never stop me from being there for people.

I learned that you have to love yourself. I decided a long time ago that I wouldn't love myself if I wasn't a good person. If I hurt people or wasn't honest. I learned that getting upset and letting your anger or frustration control you isn't a positive response. In the end it will only hurt you. So I am laid back. If I get upset I try deal with it in a positive way instead of just using the anger as a sheild. I am a much happier person because of these lessons. So I thank all those that influenced or taught me these lessons. The ones that taught it in a positive way and the ones that taught it in a negative way.